Nicola Morgan

Author, Speaker, Supporter

Understanding and Supporting Your Teenagers – the video

Ten Ways to Build a Brilliant Brain – 6

The sixth in my quick-fire series of ten posts about TEN WAYS TO BUILD A BRILLIANT BRAIN. For a chance to win one of five free signed copies, see here.

For previous posts in this series:

  1. Grow Brain Connections
  2. Fuel Your Brain
  3. Be Active (NOT “DO Exercise”)
  4. Sleep Well
  5. Make Friends

Today’s way is Bounce Back. It’s all about resilience.

No one likes bad things happening to them. Everyone needs strength to bounce back and find confidence after a setback, whether big or small. This ability to bounce back is often called resilience. Resilience, like all skills, begins in the brain. And, like all skills, it can be learnt and it improves with practice.

I have two sets of tips to share from the book today.

Tips for perfectionists

The problem with perfectionism is that perfectionists forget to be proud of what they’ve achieved. And they feel so bad when they mess up that they can’t stop thinking about it and then they miss the chance to improve. So, here’s my advice:

  1. Recognise the good things about being a perfectionist: you’ll aim high and often do well. but appreciate that this can make you feel worse when things go wrong.
  2. When you think everyone’s laughing at you, know that they’re not. And, if they are, what a waste of time! It’s not making their own lives or brains any better.
  3. Remind yourself that although it feels bad when something goes wrong, soon you’ll feel differently.
  4. Remember growth mindset: the way to do better is keep trying.
  5. Be a good friend to yourself: what would you say to a friend in this situation?
  6. Share your feelings with someone you trust. Talking and listening really help.

Second tip: stop using the word failure. Call it a stumble or a blip or a trip. It’s just a thing that happened and you can change it next time. Maybe you’ve got an even better word?

I’ve also written at more length about resilience in Be Resilient – How to build a strong teenage mind for tough times. You’ll find more resources on that page, too.

* * * BOOK GIVEAWAY * * *

For a chance of winning one of FIVE free signed copies of Ten Ways to Build a Brilliant Brain, add your comment beneath at least TWO of the numbered Ten Ways posts. Today is number six. Details/rules here.

Look out for TEN WAYS in your local bookshop. And if you don’t see it there, ASK! You can pre-order from Bookshop-org from my own page and if you do, you help independent bookshops AND me! Thank you!

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